Friday, 28 December 2012

Damaged but not broken

© Rebecca Teal

I had a bad day.
I couldn't get out of the car.

No amount of Mr T telling me I looked beautiful made any difference. No amount of knowing people don’t view me as the sick lady in a wig makes any difference.
 It’s not about how others see me but how I see myself
and above all, I see a damaged me.
I see every bit of damage this cancer treatment has caused
and it breaks my fucking heart.

But fear not, normal service WILL be resumed.

I'm damaged, not broken and I’m a feisty old bird, remember?


  1. Don't lose heart Rebecca. I guess it's in the nature of what you do that you're going to be more body-conscious than many, and I do understand that this isn't about how others perceive you, but how you feel about yourself. But you are self-evidently so much more than just a body (lovely as it may be), and no amount of damage can take away your intelligence, charm and, if you'll forgive me for saying so, your absolutely fucking filthy smile! That said, what you've been through isn't bloody fair and you have every right to feel the way you do once in a while. I've little doubt that Mr T's shoulder is plenty big enough to cry on, but mine is available over the ether should you need it. I wish you both much happiness in the new year. xxx

  2. Sebastian, I could not possibly have put that any better myself :)

    Rebecca - damaged ( physically ) you may be, but your spirit and humour are still self-evident in what you have just written. I'm a big believer in the saying DLTBGYD - but if they do, then dont let it be too l ong before you're up and fighting again. I hope 2013 is a much, much better year for you. I wish, for you, ( a return to ) health, happiness ( that smile :) ) and a great deal of naughtyness :)

    Happy New Year to you and Mr T ( lucky ******* ! ) and to all your blog-followers.

    xxx xxx


  3. Just a quick hello, hope you're ok. Am away from home for a week and trying to use an iPad ..... ...